Sunday, August 23, 2009

Smokescreen Clears

Why wear nicotine patches if you’re trying to kick the habit? Electronic cigarettes are so much sexier. Oh, you haven’t tried one? Think of them as those candy cigarettes from way back you might recall those sorry ass excuse for smokes you practiced on before you puffed the real thing in the school bathroom.

E-cigs, as they are sometimes called, run on rechargeable batteries. They have a vaporizer which draws a smoky simulacrum from a cartridge built into the mouthpiece. Loaded into the cartridge is a chemical cocktail that mimics the nicotine. Some products are really low-dose nicotine, but others aren’t. Puff till your heart’s content without the harmful effects. Also, you won’t have to worry about pissing off those sitting around you— there’s no smell.

Smoke one while you practice flight simulator or advance to the next stage of Second Life. Go ahead and take a puff in the office. Companies like Smoking Everywhere offer cigarettes, pipes, cigars, and they offer them with various levels of potency. Blu offers a thirty-day money-back guarantee. They have the traditional flavor for the tough-to-wean-offers, Java for the coffee smoke fiends, menthol for the jazzy traditionalists, cherry crush and vivid vanilla.

The other added benefit is that aside from the upfront outlay of $60 bucks or so you will save ducats in the long run. Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just piping what I’ve been told. Only time will really tell with this new trend, but it does seem to fit into this virtual reality, eco-friendly world we are wrapped in.

Somebody I know who recently had one said, I kid you not, smoking them was almost as much fun as toking on cannabis— “Man, it makes you feel aerodynamic.”

1 comment:

  1. Gee, wonder if they come in clove flavor...remember those? I'm also wondering if people under 18 will be able to buy them...look out middle-school teachers! And since when is cannabis fun? Paranoia, hallucinations, loud ringing noises, oh joy! Glad I'm weird enough w/out's cheaper this way, right?